Young Pseudo and the Theory of Everything

“Wash your balls with ice water, take nootropics, get rich, be Christian.”

The open-air idea economy is updating every second, and a new sage is always eager to direct your thoughts onto the flow of his particular rail. A theory of everything is eternally around the corner. Keep refreshing, or you might miss it. Where were you when the Buddha posted his definitive theory-thread about the relationship between markets, Christianity and blockchain?

This is what social media enslavement looks like. The eternal insecurity of meaning-craving humans is exploited by countless “sages”, those who collapse technology and mysticism into the same impulse, those who see a marketplace of ideas, a marketplace of genes and a marketplace of capital as the same fundamental impulse. Memes and genes are the only forces that operate in the human world. On twitter dot com, endlessly, the great new theory of everything is perfecting itself, and soon enough, the Viral Wisdom Economy Prosperity Gospel will teach you how to be rich, powerful, and religious at the same time.

Joel Osteen did a pretty good job of this. In his Christian philosophy, the elect are the wealthy. In the Christianity of the new Viral Wisdom Economy, the high-IQ are elect. Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos – these men are the Ubermensch, and their greatness is diluted by the mediocrity of the many. Markets upflift the great, and socialism dilutes the greatness of the elect. Marketplaces of ideas, of course, uplift the great. We know this because I am thriving in the marketplace of ideas, where I am receiving likes, retweets, and endorsements from huge accounts. My critics are jealous, envious, of course – that I am three steps ahead, always. They lack the fat tail of IQ that I was born with, the fat tail I drag everywhere with me.

But, of course, the mediocrity of Self-Help Blockchain Christianity is in essence a total confusion about reality. Nietzsche’s fundamental disposition of elitism, or condescension toward the masses, is co-opted as a Christian idea. Rather than universal dignity, Christianity is a mode of belief for the great to become greater. Everything is a marketplace, and marketplaces are designed for great men to thrive.

Christianity and capitalism are the same force – the high-IQ elect will drive this new information economy, from their Twitter accounts, from their YouTube channels, the ultimate memes and the ultimate theories will colonize the planet in the image of the great man. The ultimate right-wing belief, after all, is in the supremacy of one great visionary over the mediocrity of the masses. This is Ayn Rand repackaged for the new age. This is as if you took the shakiest elements of Jordan Peterson’s thinking and doubled, tripled down on them with blockchain and viral potential.

The new Christians are anti-Christs – they believe they are the elect of the new horizontal information economy. They believe that wealth, truth, status and power all align. If only all barriers on markets could be removed, the high-IQ elect could assume their rightful places. Christianity and capitalism are tools of sorting the unworthy from the worthy. Equality, socialism, leftism and all similar ideas are fundamentally, ontologically, false. The map of the material world and the map of the spiritual world is one – the elect on Earth are the elect in spirit. Viral Wisdom Economy Prosperity Gospel has synthesized science and religion in the form of social media capital.

Political philosopher Sheldon Wolin knew the right was deeply elitist. He saw this personified in Nietzsche, the favored intellectual of the right, who argued that inequality was fundamentally right and just. A few great individuals, Ubermensch, should steer the world in the image of their grand accomplishments. Cold showers. Get rich. Spread your memes. Change the world.

Gone is the humility of actual Christianity. Gone is the universality of the Christ. “All things that are common repulse me!” cries the last intellectual, rejecting all but the tip of the iceberg spear that is his theory of absolute market dominance. Genetic, cultural and ideological markets are all his to open. Presumably, mating markets as well. The language of evolutionary psychology is the ultimate truth of the world – everything is a market. Absolutely all human activity is a market, and markets are tools for assorting human beings based on how competent, or, how “elect” they are.

The outcome of this philosophy is rather clear. The high-IQ startup entrepreneurs replace the failing institutions and gatekepeers of today. Peter Thiel suing Gawker into oblivion is the model for this philosophy – a great man will take down the gatekeepers and replace them – with what? More fervent worship of the market, of the individual, of the high-IQ elect and their greatness.

This fundamentally elitist philosophy will be peddled as Christianity, because these people will not communicate in literature or extended essays, but in blips of assertions and a dazzling gallop of infinite claims and information. You can’t get to the root of it, but that’s okay – there’s always more. There’s always a new tweet, always a new infinitely uploading piece of the puzzle. He is the elect – he will tell you what the truth is. He is synthesizing the world in his brain, for some of the little people – at least, those who bear enough innate electness to recognize him. “Real recognizes real.”

This deeply anti-Christian philosophy will become the pinnacle of the West, the culmination of the individual. In materiality, God will be born. The market is a model for producing Gods. Thinking themselves to carry new information, they will be carbon copies of Friedrich Hayek, who believed that markets produced objectivity out of subjectivity. Markets are the only things which produce value.

Those who cannot function in markets, the many, the low-IQ, the normie, the mediocre, the NPC, the D&D character without outstanding stats, must become an observer of the great man. Blockchain Austrian Economics with Christian Characteristics will become the Truth at the end of time. The words of the elect, spreading virally, the ultimate meme, will make approachable the gospel for the common man, or the one who lacks the seed of innate greatness, the one who does not grasp the genetic-memetic concoction to produce Peter Thiels out of Godless antimatter.

Genghis Khan, the conqueror, becomes the model for the Christian. Amassing a following, an army, and asserting your memes through them, is the path to immortality. They will crystallize, these conquerors, into a fine cosmic Monad at the center of all markets – the post-human hive mind. The ultimate optimized human being, the God at the end of cold showers, will propel the ultimate synthesis of science and religion into the world. The cold God, the Nietzschean Dionysius, Nick Land’s idol, will become synonymous with Christ. And in this abomination, the crystallized sage has achieved Nirvana.

Remember: equality, socialism and the “common man” are tools to dilute your greatness. The right-wing is metaphysically correct about everything, and values divulge directly from those facts. Free markets are the only mode to test our truths, and blockchains will produce the freest markets. The theory of everything coalesces around the elect few – so make sure you follow them. Make sure you beg at their feet. The elect will give you their knowledge, they will teach you to become optimized, how to become more perfect. But ultimately, that responsibility is yours. Perhaps, one day, as you ask them questions on Reddit for an AMA, they will grace you with a reply.

The hideous philosophy of the young pseudo, of digital greatness, is the anti-Christian collapse of the material into the spiritual world. The elect on Earth are the elect in Heaven. Individuality is the mode of the great, collectivism is for the weak. The poor, the suffering, the stupid – they have nothing to do with you. Detach, and soar into outer space in multi-generational vessels, bearing the banner of SpaceX, prepared to represent all of humankind to the stars, and abandon the sour Earth of the many for the paradise of the Ubermensch.

All the old right-wing arguments are out – the only one left is the theory of everything. Where were you when Thiel, the right-wing Buddha, manifested before you and told you to start a company? I hope you listened. You don’t want to become like the little people. Build, build, build! Create, create, create! And maybe, at the end of it, your soul will be divined gold from the common lead. At the end of it all, you may be received in heaven as one of the protagonists, not a mere NPC, not another corpse in the heaping pile of nobodies.

After all, it’s not as if the Viral Wisdom Economy Prosperity Gospel is a chain of marketing masterminds preying on your insecurity to make you into their carbon copies. Certainly, that form of memetic collectivism, that flattening and ironing out of the differences in the human species in the image of the all-seeing viral market eye, would be just another form of cuckoldry.